Thursday, November 18, 2010

What do versatile hounds do when not being versatile?

Kong excavation - A study in technique

We do not often use Kongs. The dogs are generally too good to need them & I am generally too lazy to make them. So Kongs are a special treat. This afternoon while I tried to work our foster dog, Lucky, kept wandering about playing Goldilocks with all the dog beds. This one's in a cold spot. This one isn't fluffy enough. This one is too lumpy. This one has a Deerhound on it. But ah, this one! It's j-u-s-t right. Just right that is except Venus was on half of it. You should have seen her expression when he not only plopped down on the same bed with her but he *gasp* was touching her. Shock & awe is my best description of it. Worse than that though, he next proceeded to stand up & try to fluff his half of the bed. "Oh pity me," the poor, resident Greyhound tries to convey by force of pathetic, downcast eyes. "They make me share my bed with this young ne'er-do-well who still carries faint smells of the race track. [Cue the music.] Noooobody knows the troubles I've seen..." Something had to be done. Drastic measures forced me to stuff three Kongs, carry them back to the living room & send Lucky to his crate to wait his turn. Luna & Venus know the drill. They each quickly rush to an unoccupied bed & lay down hoping their choice of beds turns out to be the magic one to get the first Kong.

Venus - Lays on bed with head up, ears at high alert, nose twitching & teeth chattering as she waits. Once upon a time this girl could barely get plain ol' kibble out of a loosely packed Kong. Add anything soft that made it more challenging & she would just give it up as a lost cause. It was just pathetic. Those days are over but her approach is still rather methodical. She receives her Kong. Pulls the appetizer out of the little hole at the end & eats it. Then she starts licking at the yummy goo plugging the main hole. The Kong starts to slip away from that pressure. "No way, man!" She quickly latches onto it with her nearly prehensile toes. She then shoves the ankle of her other leg underneath to hold it up in ice cream cone fashion as she alternates licking & gnawing with her front teeth until the first layer is gone. Then she turns it sideways for the technical stuff. 1-Give it a good smack down again with one paw. 2-Snack on the results. 3-Nudge it with your nose. 4-Snack on the results. 5-Grab entire Kong with mouth, squeeze just a bit & reposition it. 6-Snack on the results. Lather. Rinse. Repeat as necessary.

Lucky "Beckham" Latin - Waits for Kong to be set in crate. Chews as much out as easily possible until impatience overrides hunger. Starts knocking it around until it is lodged under his bedding. He starts rapidly digging & shoving his bedding to regain access to his Kong. Ultimately this forces his bedding into a nest like pile but leaves the Kong exposed on the smooth plastic crate pan. *SMACK*  Hits it with a paw sending the Kong sideways against the side of the crate. ASAP, he hoovers up every readily visible morsel knocked loose. For like a millisecond he looks longingly at some bits of kibble that landed outside of the crate when Kong contents flew in all directions from force of impact. Time up. *SMACK*... He hits it again with a paw sending Kong spinning. More contents scatters across the pan... Hoover. *SMACK* Hoover. *SMACK* Hoover. Stare. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Luna the Deerhound - Stands on bed, looking down at Kong. Leans down in semi-play bow for a careful, quality control inspection. Sniff-sniff-sniff. Pulls nose back an inch & twitches it. Sniff-sniff-sniff. Pulls the appetizer out of the hole on the little end. Drops it on bed. Gives it a good sniff. Leaves it on the bed. Using a maneuver learned & perfected in puppyhood she manages to pull nearly the entire plug out of the large end. Eating only the absolute bestest part, she leaves the rest on the bed. Lays down on bed partially on top of bits she has rejected, for now at least. Rests a paw carefully on top of Kong, pressing it securely into the bed. The licking will now commence. It accounts for about 90% of her Kong destuffing time. Lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick...

Venus is now standing & nosing her Kong all over the bed listening to the last stubborn chunk of stuffing rattle around inside. Luna is lick, lick, licking. Lucky actually gets down & stares inside his as if to decide whether he should continue or concede the game. Luna is lick, lick, licking. Venus nows tries a girlish Lucky Beckham maneuver with the satisfying result of her Kong doing a somersault across the bed, yielding the last of its stuffing. "Awe, sweet success." Luna is lick, lick, licking. Lucky manages to get a couple more pieces of kibble, enough to give him renewed hope. Luna is... well, you know. Venus lays her head down with a contended sigh. Luna's still at it. Lucky's Kong still has the rattles so he perseveres.

Now Luna breaks the cycle. She stands up, stretches & goes for a drink of water. Venus lifts her head to stare in the direction of Luna's bed. Lucky stares that way as well. Luna notices & hurries back to eat the tid bits she was laying on then gathers her Kong to her again, giving the others a "Don't even think it" stare. Venus turns to look in Lucky's direction. He notices & redoubles his effort with *SMACK* a force that sends the Kong flying again to hit this time high up the side of the crate. The noise attracts the attention of both girls. Venus watches. Luna watches. I saw the smack out of the corner of my eye, turn my head just in time to see Lucky watching the last of his Kong stuffing fly in a trajectory that sends it... Venus gets up. Luna's Kong is now the only one not empty but she seems to have forgotten it as she looks at poor Lucky. He sees his hard work laying on the carpet in an arc outside his crate. Luna stands but she's much too late. Venus trots over to snarfle up the spoils of Lucky's futbol playing. "Awe, sweet success," says Venus. Lucky Beckham just gone straight from Manchester United to the LA Galaxy.

Then there is a noise and all attention turns to Luna whose back is to the rest of us as she chases her wayward Kong across the hardwood floor. She picks it up and takes it back to her bed again. Still not paying attention to us, Luna doesn't notice a certain dark brindle beauty walking in her direction. Luna drops the Kong, stretches. All that licking is tiring and sure makes a girl thirsty. She again heads to the water bowl. Lap, lap, lap. She heads back to her bed & her... "Hey, where'd I leave that thing? I thought it was right here."

Lucky is already snoozing on top of his nested bedding. Luna turns around in a circle looking for her Kong.
Venus is back on her bed licking her lips. There are two empty Kongs next to her. "I've still got it." She lays her head down to get some beauty sleep. True to her dark brindle, passive-aggressive self, Venus gets the last laugh, "Ha. Those pups don't know who they're dealing with."

Venus turned nine years old on Monday. With age comes wisdom.